[Interview] 'Possible Love' Star Jeon Do-yeon, Part 3: “My Approach to Acting Has Changed Since 'Secret Sunshine'—From Satisfying Others to Satisfying Myself”

※ This interview with Jeon Do-yeon, star of 〈Possible Love〉, continues from Part 1 and Part 2.

The moon appears several times in the film, almost like a fifth main character. From the moon young Mi-ok looks at to the one the couple watches over drinks, it seems to carry a different meaning each time. How did you interpret it?

Actually, when I read the script, I didn't realize the moon was that important. Even after we'd finished shooting the entire film, the director kept going out to film the moon. He shot it in Geochang, then somewhere else, and even somewhere overseas. He just kept filming the moon. But I understood when I saw the film. It wasn't just the moon—the halo around it was incredibly important, too. So I also thought, 'Maybe the moon is another main character in this film.' Whether in the film or in our lives today, not everyone gets a fair life, but when we look at the moon, which treats everyone equally, aren't we all free to think whatever we want? So I think I was really curious about what the characters and the audience would be thinking as they looked at the moon in our film.

You've sung “I Know Nothing but Love” in a previous film, and some people have wondered whether it was a coincidence that you sang it again this time. The song seemed fairly important. Did you practice it? (Laughs)

No, I didn't practice. But I did sing it a few times at karaoke because I needed to memorize the lyrics. I'd completely forgotten that I'd sung it in 〈You Are My Sunshine〉. Then later I thought, 'That's right, I sang it in 〈You Are My Sunshine〉, too.' So I did wonder whether I had some special connection to 'I Know Nothing but Love.' Back then, it played an important role in expressing the character's circumstances and emotions, and here, too, I sang it to express Mi-ok's conflicts and emotions. So I did wonder whether there was some connection between that song and me.

You've said that when Lee Chang-dong makes a film, he tells the actors not to try to express something, but simply to “feel.” How does acting on his set differ from acting on other directors' sets?

I'm not sure you can compare him with other directors, because they're trying to make different kinds of films. If you're making a very dramatic genre film, you can't just stay still without expressing anything. So I think it's a difference in genre. He seems to focus much more on making you appear as the character rather than as an actor. So before we start shooting, instead of saying, 'Shall we run through the lines?' or 'Shall we rehearse?' he says, 'Shall we try saying the words together?' And he always wants it to look truly like a documentary, like someone right beside you, like a real person. But that's actually impossible, isn't it? When you're shooting, you might have to do several takes. What he always says, though, is, 'As if you're hearing those lines for the first time, as if you're saying these words for the first time.' He just tells you to feel it. It sounds very simple, but actually feeling it and doing it in front of a camera can be confusing. I don't think accepting that is an easy process. So when I was making 〈Secret Sunshine〉, too, since it was my first time working with him, I think I kept wondering, 'What on earth does that mean? What is he asking me to do? What is he asking me not to do?'

I remember you saying that although 〈Secret Sunshine〉 earned you the wonderful title “Queen of Cannes,” it also led to a slump. After all the time that passed before you reunited with Lee Chang-dong, what do you think has changed about you?

Yes, my approach to acting has changed. Before 〈Secret Sunshine〉, I acted to satisfy someone else. Now I try to act according to what I feel and to the point where I'm satisfied myself. But sometimes that works well and sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes audiences might think, 'What is that?' I don't think that kind of acting always looks like good acting. So when I'm working on a project, I sometimes think about how much I should feel and how much I should express. And when that's captured on camera, how it's made to look is actually very important, too. So I've felt a lot of that confusion, and even now, I'm still finding my way. I'm constantly thinking and wondering, 'What project should I do next? What kind of acting should I do?' And I'm still doing that now. Of course, I've received a lot of praise for my acting in 〈Possible Love〉, but that doesn't mean something about me changes. In the past, now and in the future, I'll just be Jeon Do-yeon. Awards used to mean a great deal to me, but I don't think they mean quite as much now. I think they're just one of the moments that pass.

You said earlier that when you made 〈Secret Sunshine〉, you were going through a period of considerable self-doubt. Both then and now, you've played the de facto head of a household, protecting a child and a family. You got married in between, and your circumstances changed. Has that changed the way you think about taking on those roles?

I suppose that if I was the center of my world before, I'm not the center of it now. But what I felt when I read this script, and what allowed me to empathize with Mi-ok, was that everyone seems to feel some anxiety when they're trying to protect something. Whether it's big or small, and although it depends on what you're protecting, I think there's always anxiety when you have something to protect. I, too, could relate to that anxiety Mi-ok feels, which comes from her strong determination to protect something.

On a lighter note, when you received the Korean Association of Film Critics Award, many people loved the confidence of your acceptance speech, when you said, “In my heart, I was always the best actress.” Had you prepared that in advance?

This really is a bit of a side story. The ceremony was very long. It lasted about three hours, and I hadn't realized it would be that long. Our turn comes very late, you know. So much time had passed that they were asking people up front to hurry things along, and Zo In-sung said, 'I think we'd better keep our speeches short.' But then he went up and spoke for ages. (Laughs) The truth is, I needed to use the restroom so badly that my stomach really, really hurt. It was so urgent that I joked to In-sung, 'If I can't hold it anymore and have to go, please accept the award for me.' But I couldn't go, and I went up onstage. I was going to briefly say thank you, thank the director and the actors, and come back down. But before they give you the award, someone explains why this actor deserves it. As I listened, the presenter said so many lovely things. It turned out I'd won the critics' award for 〈Secret Sunshine〉 19 years earlier. The presenter said, 'She came here as Shin-ae in 〈Secret Sunshine〉 19 years ago, and now, after 19 years, she has returned as Mi-ok in 〈Possible Love〉.' And I thought, 'But I've kept coming back in so many films and as so many characters in between.' They made it sound as if I'd returned with 〈Possible Love〉 after 〈Secret Sunshine〉, and I thought to myself, 'That's not how I see it.' So although I hadn't planned it, as I was speaking, I ended up saying, 'I received an award for 〈Secret Sunshine〉 19 years ago, and here I am 19 years later, but in between, I've kept coming back with new films and new characters.' And then I said, 'The critics may not have given me a best actress award in the meantime, but in my heart, I was always giving myself one,' and came down. That's how it happened. (Laughs)

You mentioned earlier that when you asked Lee Chang-dong, “Was I really that good?” he told you that you were and that you should watch the film again. How did you feel after rewatching 〈Possible Love〉?

I just did what I always do... (Laughs) I wasn't trying to watch my performance. I really wanted to see the film. I hadn't seen it since the screening at the Venice Film Festival, and I'd been doing interviews ever since. As those continued, with all the journalists' questions and so many different interpretations, I kept getting more curious about the film. So I really wanted to see it, and when I watched it again, beyond whether the acting was good or bad, I think I was simply glad that we looked like those characters. If it had really looked like 'Jeon Do-yeon' was acting well, I don't think the director would have said that to me. (Laughs)